A Goodbye to the Parting Year

We hated goodbyes. But it’s as if we have other way; or even better way of saying it than to pretend that it was always for something ‘good’.

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Dec. 26, 2016 • 5:23pm

Time flies so fast.

It’s so crazy how the time went by so fast… Days pass by almost unnoticed and unappreciated; yet when it comes to year, it’s really like a big thing. But then, it is. Or — it was. It’s almost a year,– it’s been a year, and I can still remember what I exactly did at this point of time last year, as if it happened only yesterday. I remember almost everything…and it’s making me crazy.

It’s just so crazy. We went to a year…and then jump to another one. I mean, how do we even do that? It’s like, we’re throwing away everything we have on this year and then jump and grasp the brand new year that’s coming. We’re leaving everything behind. I don’t know, but something about it really makes me feel a little…nostalgic. It’s like…going away; and then finding a new beginning. When you don’t even know if it’s actually going to be good; or bad. I’m not saying I’ve really had a whole good year this year. But then you know, there’s always good — and then there’s bad. But I think it’s just enough. I wasn’t really miserable enough to complain and be a real cynical b*tch.

It’s just that…the time’s really driving me nuttier than ever. It’s like, just rolling over…and then, ta-daah! “Welcome to a Brand New Year! Here’s your life, take it!”

It’s like going away and starting a new life, — even when you don’t even want to leave in the first place. You have no choice, your time’s over. It’s like, — the time is pushing us away; or…we are the ones who push the time away? Are we? Because I’m pretty sure time didn’t created itself, I guess… And in all the history, humans were always the one who would invent things…– And maybe time is one of them. Perhaps time is a perspective created by humans. Created by us. We always needed time; we have to make time. We have to put time in order to calculate everything that we do. Even memories aren’t exception. We do things, we remember things, and then we forget. The last thing we do is to be dominated by oblivion.

It’s driving me insane. I’m pretty sure it was only just last month that I have just re-read the book The Hobbit. But no honey, it’s been a year. You’re not dreaming. Oh my God, it’s actually been a year already. It still feels like I’m left on the year of 2015, hanging. OhmyGod, I don’t believe it…I’m still stuck on the year of 2015! I can’t! And I feel like crying… This year is almost over and we’re coming to it’s end; 2017 is almost there and yet…I was still left alone; still stuck on the last year. It’s like, the time was dragging me so hard like a windstorm…and all I wanna do is keep hugging on a post; keep holding on so tight, just so I wouldn’t fly with it. But then I can’t. No matter how much my hands hurt; it was just not enough. There was nothing else I could do. We can try but we all knew, nobody wins.

It was always goodbye. It’s always a good bye. And we would have to say it even if we don’t want to. It doesn’t matter if we like it or we don’t; the point is, to say goodbye because we’re leaving. Or better yet, the year is leaving. We’re going away once again, for what its worth; we all have to do it whether or not we still have that lump in our throats. We’re all gonna have to say it no matter what the cost: tears, happiness, freedom, melancholy, chances, sadness… We all have to go through the process of moving on — all over again.

The year is ending and it’s making my heart skip a beat. There’s a sense of excitement, paranoia, melancholia, nostalgia, mania…and all the other emotions there is, I guess…

I hated goodbyes. But it’s as if we have other way; or even better way of saying it than to pretend that it’s always for something ‘good’.

But then again, One Goodbye Makes a Year.

Author: The Realist in the Abyss

I feel like a freaking lunatic. Wandering around... not knowing who I am... or what I do. And I'm still trying to figure it all out, too. But perhaps I'll always be unknown to me; I'll always be that girl. The girl in the abyss.

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