The Unlikely Christmas

But Life goes on. Life is just the way it is. Always has been; and always will be. We have to move on. We have to keep moving on even if it means crawling.

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Dec. 27, 2016 • 7pm

It’s been two, three, four years… No. It’s probably been five years.

It was the same date. The same place, the same foods,– even the same people.

It was the same Christmas Eve. It was the same time of the year. But something about it…makes it feel just…a little different. No, — a whole lot different, actually. I don’t know, but everything’s the same… Even the same smell, the same ambiance, the same aura. But something has changed. But no, — everything. Everything has changed. And I’m going mad. But I’m always mad.

Okay, this makes no sense.

I was caught up in my own thoughts that I could not even fathom quite lightly. I’m making it hard for myself when I’m trying to figure out the unfathomable.

It was so ruthless of time to leave us all behind, — all the time. It’s like, we’re running with it,– running so fast; just so we could keep up with it. Keep up with time. But no amount of energy, speed, and even power could ever keep up with time. We’re no match with it. We’re always in haste; always in a hurry, — at work, school, even growing up… We wanted to do everything in haste; to do it quick and fast, just so we could buy more time, and extra time for ourselves, the ones we love, and everything else. And just like what The Flash has taught me: Time is our common enemy.

But it’s as if something will ever change if we blame it.

It just sucks…to think how unfair the time is. How actually, unfair everything is. We are walking around here, thinking we have more time; but little did we know that time never stops. Not even a second. Not even when you’re happy; not even when you’re broke. It just smacks you on the face and then… Ta-daah! Your time is up.

And then the moment when the time and change finally decided to have a joined forces… That’s it. You’re dead. Because what else can you do against the force of nature? We all knew we can never do anything about it. Most likely, we just float around…and we just let the wind take us; wait for it to decide. It doesn’t matter where you wanna go; because it would be nothing anyway. In the end, it wouldn’t really matter whether or not you wanted to go elsewhere. Life, time, and change were the ones to follow.

Sometimes, I even feel like we’re just puppets. Like some kind of marionettes. Just hanging up there…waiting for the next pull of their strings. We do not own anything. We’re all caught up in a same thought that we actually own something; but we don’t. We fall apart; we’d be lost, and then we’d fade. We would fade away… I mean, just like that?

I mean, it’s just crazy how the time and change can be. But Life goes on. — that’s what they say. That’s what they always say. But what are we gonna do if things were not the way they used to be anymore? We cry? We fall apart; we move on? But of course. Life is just the way it is. Always has been; and always will be. There’s no other way to move past life. We have to keep moving on even if it means crawling.

We can’t do anything about the force of nature; or the force of fate. We have nothing to do against it. But we can at least hope, and pray for something. Even if we do not know what it is; even if we do not know what for.

And then I realized that…it’s not actually everything — that seems to change. Not exactly. It was actually me… who’s changed quite a bit. I’m the one who’s been different.

I’m not the same person who’s walking in..

Author: The Realist in the Abyss

I feel like a freaking lunatic. Wandering around... not knowing who I am... or what I do. And I'm still trying to figure it all out, too. But perhaps I'll always be unknown to me; I'll always be that girl. The girl in the abyss.

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