Wanting Nothing

When you can’t go on with life because you don’t even know what you want anymore. You have no idea what to choose when you don’t even know what to want.

Advertisements

June 11, 2016 • 5:04pm

I realized even dog wants a bone, a bird wants shelter, and the plants want some rain. How could you, a human being,– A life of its nature,– can never have something to want, or do not have any? I realized that you can’t go on with life without even wanting anything at all. We can’t live without wanting. We need to want something in order to live; in order to feel alive. How could you possibly live your life if you don’t even want a thing? Want to pursue a dream, want to achieve your goals; even wanting your wishes to come true. Want to touch the lives of others; even wanting to be held back. Wanting to have an answered prayers, and wanting…to live. You have to want, for you to live. It’s not being vain; it’s just being alive. It’s being human. The moment you stop wanting is the moment when you’re possibly, already,– dead inside. When you’re no longer interested in anything… When you no longer find it…appealing. Everything is just…dull. And bleak. When you no longer find yourself wanting. And living. That’s when you know. That’s when you’ve have lost it. When you lost the desire to want anything at all. When you’re not just able to want anymore; to want anything… When you can’t find a reason to want, — not anymore. Because it’s not easy. It’s the moment when you lost it. — when you lost it all. When it’s hard to want anything; when all you wanted was to…

And I guess that’s what I am right now. I can’t find myself wanting anything. But that’s because I cannot bring myself to want something… I’m just… empty. I don’t want anything at all. I’m just… a dead person inside. 

I don’t even know what I want.

I can’t go on with life when I don’t even know what I want. Let alone what to want –to begin with.

I am simply lost. And wandering…

Author: The Realist in the Abyss

I feel like a freaking lunatic. Wandering around... not knowing who I am... or what I do. And I'm still trying to figure it all out, too. But perhaps I'll always be unknown to me; I'll always be that girl. The girl in the abyss.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s