A Need for Freedom

…To follow our hearts and let it be. But such is life, and that’s our tragedy. Because life can never give us the most freedom we need, either.

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November 20, 2016 · 10:52pm

And then we spend most of our lives thinking we do not have much of a choice; and that we should have more. And we often do the things we do all because we have no other choice, and that we should’ve given more choices… because ‘choice‘ is what we need. –when it’s not. When it’s really not. 

We thought we do not have a choice that’s why life is unfair. But little did we know that choice is not what we even need in the first place. We don’t suffer from the lack of choices or the limitations of our options. Nor we suffer from our own poor choices. We suffer from our own perception of the world and its mechanics of having a life dependent on the choices and boundaries. We say there are no limitations; there are no boundaries. But then we believe in confinement of the given choices. And it’s our predicament to be in such a horrible deliberation of choosing the right one. I guess life is playful that way; unfair, even. But isn’t it, as a matter of fact, a very known reality to each and everyone of us to begin with? It was a given fact. And truth is, we don’t even have a choice in the very beginning. We grab and we take every opportunities; every chances that we can have because it’s hardly given to us. We only choose what’s in front of us; and what’s available. We pick from the given choices thrown upon us because there are no other options. We have to do those things because that’s what we’re supposed to; because it’s necessary. Because we need to, even if it’s not what we want. We have to do it because it’s the only way we see fit. Because we have no other choice. Because it’s what our situation demands. Because it’s what the life asks for.

Life will give us something we can call an “option” or a “choice”… when really, we are left with nothing but the mere chance of doing what’s need to be done. Pick the right one, because it’s how it’s supposed to be. In the end, we fool ourselves by constantly thinking, and believing that choice is something real. That choice is something that we all have. And choosing is something that we do; something that we used to… something we’re supposed to do. So therefore, choice is what need to have more of.

But we have no choice. We lived our lives believing we have that; we thought we had a choice, but we don’t.

Truth is, choice is not what we even need. We do not need choices any more than we need freedom.

What we need is FREEDOM. We need the freedom to choose our own paths; we need the freedom to do what we want and what we love. We need freedom to do things and make things. We need the freedom to make things happen and follow our heart. We need the freedom to dance in the air; and reach the skies. To fly up high, to run away… We should have the freedom to choose what we really want. Not to pick from the limited, constraining choices. We should be able to choose freely. To do freely. Anything and everything, as long as it makes us happy. We should be free from our own mind and our own delusional thoughts that choice is what we need. We don’t have to choose because we can do anything and everything. Why don’t we do that? To be free from everything that’s been tethering us and restraining us from doing what we really wanna do. To follow our hearts and let it be.

But such is life; and that’s our tragedy.

We ravage ourselves so much into thinking we fix up our lives by deciding what is right for us to choose… and pondering it based on the capacity of our own resort, and chosen option. Until we realize there’s a prick of emptiness within us that we hadn’t even notice was there all along. Something that we thought we didn’t feel at all. That feeling we’ve been trying to bury into oblivion all these years. Just so it won’t bother us, and we could be fine again. We thought it will; but it didn’t. We can no longer continue being oblivious because we can’t contain it anymore; we can’t hold it any longer. And we inwardly scream for freedom. We need this freedom of doing what we want and following our hearts. 

Freedom is what we truly need and not a single Choice. We need not any more choice; we need Freedom to do it all. To go beyond the limits and past our boundaries. We should be free to do it all. And it’s really just a shame we don’t realize that. We’re stuck into thinking we have no choice and that we need to have more. And that’s the tragedy of life. 

Because life can never give us the very freedom we need, either.

In Search of What to Pick

But we don’t really have a choice. What we do is just pick what we have to. And yet here we are, still complaining about how we never have given any more choice.

November 17, 2016 • 8:17pm

And then we spend our lives holding onto the idea that we really do have a choice…

For me though, having a “choice” is not exactly what we have. But we do get a chance sometimes to choose, and pick what we necessarily have to. And not all of us really get a glimpse of that chance. Not all of us were lucky; but the word lucky wouldn’t even be enough… it’d become an understatement, so to speak. Not all of us gets fortunate enough to get to pick from a choice available for us. But as a matter of fact, —we don’t really have a choice. If we admit it truthfully. And having choices ain’t the thing we really need, either. We don’t need a choice; we shouldn’t have the choices. In fact, it’s not even given. We should have the Freedom. We should have the freedom to choose what we really want and what we think is best for us. Not a chance to pick from a limited and only given choices; to pick what we necessarily have to. We should have the freedom to do, and go beyond the safety boundaries of our choices. We should have the freedom to do anything even beyond what’s possible. Better yet, we should have the freedom –the possibility–of doing what’s impossible. To go beyond the walls, and far beyond the barriers of having a several choices. We are being stuck upon the limitations of what we can choose rather than what we can do and we can reach. We don’t even have the right to pick what we really want; we often choose what’s in front of us because of the lack of availability of those choices. We choose what is there; we pick the choices that is served before us. We choose from those given choices. We only pick a choice because it’s what we need to do even if it’s not the thing our heart wants in the first place. 

Most of the time, I’d think we’re only forced to go with these choices because we ironically don’t really have a choice to begin with. Forced to do the picking just because it’s what we really have to do. We often do what we need to rather than what we really want. In the end, we continue flowing with the current, giving in to life itself… and our own little idea of “obligation” disguised as a “choice“. We’re always obliged to do what we have to. To choose what we’re supposed to. Even obliged to feel this way, or that way, sometimes because it’s what we think is right. We are saddled upon these choices and obliged to do certain things. Even against our own will, sometimes. To go this way, even if what we really want is to go on the other path. We are forced to choose from all the necessary, limited choices because it’s what we have to choose, or better yet, –what we need to pick. All we do is pick. Yet here we are… thinking we can really choose. That we really do have a choice. We are picking, and we are obliged to feel contented with it. Because all along we thought it’s our own choice, we thought we are choosing. When the fact is sometimes, we’re really just caged upon the necessities of life. Locked up inside our own confinement within the lie of a choice; and the pretense of the word itself. We don’t really have a choice, but having a “choice” ain’t the thing that we really need, either. We should have the freedom; not a choice.

We should’ve given the Freedom. And it’s what we should get when it’s there.

Choice is an illusion. What we do is an obligation. Our obligation to life,– and that is,– not to go against it. No matter how foul it already seems. And so we continue flowing with it… agreeing to its pretense that yes,–we do really have a choice. Surrendering to its lie that everything’s gonna be okay… Giving in to its promise of tomorrow. Even if all it does is hold us in our neck, had our backs against the wall. Blinded by all of its pretensions… we mean to agree to everything that it makes. All we do is take, and accept. Everything. Because what else can we do?

Nothing. There’s nothing we can do because we have no choice.