I write not because I want to write about something… I write because there is something to write about.
Feb.28, 2017 • 12:26am
The pain never goes away; not really. It remains with us forever. But what we have to learn is that we can allow it to blossom into something beautiful– like a work of art. Into something that conforms; something that resonates. Something that will reach out to others and make them feel understood…–to help make them feel that they’re certainly not alone. That pain can also build a connection. We don’t always have to force ourselves to let it go because it doesn’t always work that way, –when the scars were already there. We can only accept it. Accept that these things happen. We cannot know happiness if we hadn’t known pain. And we have, but only one way to ease the pain and live with it: To use it.
We have to use it.
I would always remember it all– the random barks of the dog from the neighborhood; even the silent, whirling sound of the wind, the plane, the crickets… And well, I hate to say this– but yes. The sound of my beating heart.
Oct. 19, 2016 • 1:22am
And in times of me, being alone; as I lay here on my bed, in the middle of the night. And while the sun is still deciding whether or not it’s going to come out soon, because technically it’s already dawn but then again, it’s not morning yet… But here I am and I would always remember…– Remember everything. Remember it all too well. Every little thing that had complemented my disoriented soul and utmost loneliness. I would remember the crickets chirping from the outside; The sound of the plane while penetrating through the clouds… and the stars splattered in the sky. And then the air; –my only companion. I’d remember what was there. I would always remember it all– the random barks of the dog from the neighborhood; even the silent, whirling sound of the wind, the plane, the crickets… And well, I hate to say this– but yes.
It’s just that we grew up and we grew tired…
Oct. 21, 2016 • 1:55am
It was perhaps what you feel towards me is quite understandable. — Bona fide, even. The way we’ve been so distant, it seemed. And you cannot go wrong concluding that change has took over me. Change is in fact inevitable; and there’s not much to figure out as to why I turned out to be this cold.. It’s just that we grew up and we grew tired. Probably of endless falseness, insolence and torment that is always served upon us by this vast orb we call world. It’s not my fault I live in a world that loathes over a flaw such as ours. And it will take you some time, or even a long while, to fathom what had really given me this notion and perception of a life I have just depicted. Maybe even a lifetime for you to know, that you’ve been just one of those who put me through this kind of frigid isolation; and you just haven’t seen it yet.
…But it’s either you break free from the mold; or live the rest of your life inside that jar.
Oct. 19, 2016 • 1:55am
Change is such a painful process of peeling away your mask and revealing your skin with some parts of it being torn away; lingered onto what has left it and leaving you broken. It is both heartbreakingly overwhelming… and extremely terrifying. But it’s either you break free from the mold or live the rest of your life inside that jar.
The world will never again become the way it used to be. —To the way it has always been.
Feb. 27, 2017 9:18pm
And then when change finally wraps its arms to everything that’s there; to everything around you… The world will never again become the way it used to be. —To the way it has always been. Your life will never be the same life that you had; the one that you owned. And you will start asking yourself if it’s still your life, or whether you are still the person that you are. It will take time to realize everything all at once, when all those dire questions inevitably pours down on you. It will take time. And you’ll realize. And you will learn. But first, it will throw you into the darkest void where there is nothing but emptiness. And only then, you will understand that no one can escape the world of indifference. Not until you succumbed; and not until you let yourself have the chance to live again. Because nothing then would’ve even mattered.
Feb. 1, 2017 • 3:56pm
You have to find what it is that you want to do; what you love to do. Because it’s the only thing that will make your life worth living. It’s what will make you happy; what will set you free. It’s what will give your life meaning and a purpose. It’s what will serve as an answer to all your questions. That’s why you have to go and find it. So just go.
“And though the waves keep pushing you aside, you know your feet won’t just give up to keep you afloat… And in that moment… somehow, that was enough.”
July 4, 2016 • 10:16pm
Swimming in the sea makes me feel wild and free…
In a sense that the horizon is infinite; there are no barriers around you. No walls to restrain, or trammel you; or will hinder you to go elsewhere. There was no boundaries that confines you; nor hedges to constrain you. There seem to be no limitations in everything. You can do whatever you want, there are no strings or clips that will pin you down. The view is endless. And so the possibilities are boundless. You know you’re in the widest, huge space spot and that no one can reach you nor drag you. You feel like you’re all alone and the whole view is all yours; the place is yours. Yours. And nobody else’s. And then you just feel amazingly free; and though the waves keep pushing you aside, you know your feet won’t just give up kicking and you keep on swimming to stay afloat… Fighting every wave that comes your way… you continue to swim and carry on.
And in that moment, somehow, that was enough.